THE ONLY THING THAT STAYS...

I had a restless sleep last night. Lying on bed, gaping at the ceiling, with my eyes wide open, I realized that I had some sense of discomfort from within. I kept on pondering upon the unknown fear that was slowly gripping me and making me a lot weaker. Something was constantly nagging at the back of my mind. I was turning left, turning right, opening, closing, blinking my eyes trying hard to fall asleep. There was something that was making me feel very uncomfortable. I thought have a great family, great friends, reasonable money, have a job (even though uncertain due to the ongoing economic crisis), yet I could not feel at ease at all. The indoors became warmer with the heater running at 80 F. I stood upright, tip-toed to the kitchen, gulped a glass of water and lied back on bed. I covered by face with blanket, closed by eyes tight but there was no difference to my feelings and there was no sense of relief at all. Deep buried, as I realized, there was an insecurity of losing my dear ones and the things I treasure a lot in life. The negative thoughts did not seem to wade away and the insecurities made me even more sleepless. The ‘what if’ mania was crawling in me. “What if I get away from dear ones?” “What if I lose my job tomorrow?” “What if I am left alone to sail through the tempest of life?” The never-ending storm of thoughts shook my head altogether and made the rush of adrenalin in my blood even higher. I had a glance at time in the cell phone, lying by my bedside, and it was already past 12 in the midnight. I had to sleep because no matter what I was to go to work the next morning.
I tried to convince myself that fears will always be there and that constantly thinking about them will never make them any lesser. Nothing in life is guaranteed to stay with us forever. Life takes away something, gives something back in return and that is how we move from one milestone to another. The best way to overcome fears is not fear anything. The truth, of the matter, is everything is dynamic and bound to change. The only thing that can never be taken away is our knowledge and education. Every event in life is a learning that renders us some wisdom. Knowledge acquired is our biggest treasure and wisdom attained the biggest strength. These two are the only assets that will stay with us at all the times and can’t be feared to be lost. Rest everything is like sand that slips out of our hands with time. With these thoughts, I enchanted some mantras and went to sleep not sound though.

My first blog here

Feelings..connect the body with the soul,

Feelings..drive the world,

Feelings..bond us together and are forever,

Feelings..express the heart and define the self

Feelings..are in eyes and speak of desires

Feelings..in beating hearts and chain of thoughts

Sour feelings, pure feelings,
Pen, pour and perceive the feelings